


when you talk about beauty, makes me feel so ugly

by yagamipda



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, Insecurity, Jealousy, Lowercase, M/M, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Pre-Game Akamatsu Kaede, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Prom, my only skill is prom fics, pre-game kiibo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23304244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yagamipda/pseuds/yagamipda
Summary: he had never been to a school dance, nor ever wanted to. he'd rather stay home and watch danganronpa, or post to his blog about all his mindless thoughts that floated through his mind like lazy dragonflies.but this year, he was starting to get an inkling of what these sort of events meant for other people.
Relationships: K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi, pregame saiibo
Kudos: 58





	when you talk about beauty, makes me feel so ugly

**Author's Note:**

> okay this one is just projection cuz im a kinnie and im insecure 😳😳😳 i hope you enjoy anyway

"did you hear?"

"about what?"

"the dance coming up! who are you taking?"

"ohh, gosh, ahaha… i don't even know if i'm going…"

"whaaaat? you gotta go!"

"i'll think about it…"

mindless chatter flooded the classroom around him. shuichi saihara continued doodling idle pictures of monokuma and kirigiri on his unfinished homework. he chewed the bloody spot on his lower lip, absently patting his pocket to see if he had any chapstick in there. no, none… he kept gnawing on his dry skin.

he had never been to a school dance, nor ever wanted to. he'd rather stay home and watch danganronpa, or post to his blog about all his mindless thoughts that floated through his mind like lazy dragonflies. 

but this year, he was starting to get an inkling of what these sort of events meant for other people. 

he stole a glance across the room where iidabashi sat, writing down something in his planner. he had a focused look on his face, brows furrowed and attention fully trained on whatever productive list he was scrawling.

saihara pressed his lips together as hard as he could to avoid smiling like a dipshit in the middle of the classroom.

where everyone else felt like bland copies, iidabashi was exciting. being around him almost felt wrong because of how happy and giddy it made saihara. 

to others, his friend had many flaws; he was harsh, curt and annoyed in all of his responses. he was overly serious, and he said whatever was on his mind without giving much mind to how it would come off to others sometimes, and he wasn't the best at being sensitive. saihara could recall many a time where iidabashi said something that made him flinch at how brash he could be. 

but to saihara, those were just his quirks. and he had his own quirks, too, for the record - he was a sick puppy to all of his peers, a freak who believed the world could read his thoughts, the weirdo who drew executions in his sketchbook and giggled during any talk of violence. saihara wasn't evil, but he sure was a strange one.

yes, iidabashi was the only one who understood him, then. that was why he made saihara's insides feel full of fuzzy clouds and bright butterflies. there was no other explanation for it. saihara just had weird ways of feeling.

that was all.

\--- 

"hey, iidabashi-kun! have you heard about the dance coming up?" saihara asked, his eyes narrowing as he smirked. "you thinking of taking anyone?" he purred, giving the white-haired android a sharp poke in the ribs. 

iidabashi flinched away a little, swatting at saihara's sweaty hand. "i doubt it. i might, but i'll probably be busy. that sort of thing isn't something i care about that much."

saihara let out an exaggerated exhale. "booo… well i guess i don't really care about dances either, to be honest. i have better things to do than stand around in the gym for a few hours."

"yeah. it's kind of a waste of time."

"mm… iidabashi-kun?" saihara stepped to the side so iidabashi could unlock the door to his house. 

swinging the front door open and stepping in, iidabashi let out a grunt of acknowledgement.

saihara entered the house, shutting the door behind him and kicking off his shoes. "if you aaaabsolutely had to choose, who would you take to the dance?" he dropped his backpack to the ground, trailing after iidabashi up the steps to his room.

"i dunno, i haven't really thought of it."

"are you sure? i'm suuuper curious." saihara asked. a part of him was anxious; he knew it wouldn't be the answer that he was… hoping for, in a way? no. it's just a single thing. he was miserable being lonely, so his best friend should be single and lonely with him. that was it. nothing else.

"i really don't know… what's the reason for bringing them? some people go with their friends, some go on a date… i don't know where i'd fall, really. i'm interested in dating, i just don't really know how to go about all that and it seems like a bit of a hassle." iidabashi paused, sitting down on his neatly made bed. "i'm kind of bad with human interaction and such."  
saihara chewed the inside of his cheek, sitting beside iidabashi. the two were a bit crowded on iidabashi's small twin mattress; he was close enough that he could smell the clean linen smell of iidabashi's clothes, and it was making him a bit flustered. 

"well, i think you're doing pretty good. but i'm a loser, so i dunno if that means much. anyway, if you like… had to ask someone out to the dance. as a date. like, not … someone you have a crush on, or whatever. just someone you think is attractive or something i guess." saihara rambled, folding his hands on his lap and glancing up at the ceiling.

"huh. i dunno, akamatsu-san is really pretty, and she's always been nice to me."

"ah." saihara paused, feeling his stomach sink a bit. of course, akamatsu was everything anyone could want; she was pretty, she always looked well-groomed, and she was so smart and polite… he didn't understand why he felt so… bad about it, though.

"what about you?"

"uhh… i don't know." saihara answered lamely. "i don't really pay attention to many people." he ignored his gut instinct that was telling him to shout one particular answer. 

"mm. i don't think i'd go either way. too busy and all."

"yeah, i understand…"

\---

after a lull in the conversation from iidabashi working on his homework, saihara didn't feel any better. 

as he watched iidabashi slide his notebook in the cubby under his desk, he looked up and asked, "is anyone else attractive to you?"

iidabashi was silent for a bit, before responding, "well, i guess i don't think much about it either, really…"

"mm… i got you." 

the two were quiet for a moment. saihara picked at his black nail polish, fidgeting as a question lingered in the back of his throat, almost painfully.

"i-iidaaaa-iidabashi-kuuunn…" his voice crackled, restarting and pausing at odd intervals. "i have a q-uest-ion…" he blushed, reprimanding himself internally for his stupid, stupid tone.

"mhm?"

"do you th- do you think i … am i attractive?" his voice quivered nervously. he folded his hands together on his lap and tapped his foot anxiously. 

silence.

"i think so. you're cute."

"mm… but… well. thank you, but… ah…" saihara glanced away. 

"but?"

"is akamatsu-san… more attractive than me?"

iidabashi stayed quiet, before laughing. "you're so stupid…" 

"i- i mean it!" 

"no, saihara, akamatsu-san isn't prettier than you. you're a pretty boy. a stupid boy, but a pretty one." 

saihara couldn't help but get embarrassed at the statement. "well, thanks, i… i think you're really cute too…"

iidabashi blinked, his expression going blank.

"ohh… well, th… thank you." his voice reached a bit of a higher pitch. 

"mhm… i kind of wanna go to the dance w-with you." saihara blurted out, covering his mouth. 

when iidabashi wasn't responding, saihara took the chance to shove his foot in his mouth even more. 

"i mean, i … as - as friends! sort of! i mean, no, agh… fuck, no i…"

iidabashi laughed again. 

"i know what you're saying. i don't really like dances and such though, if you just want to be around me you can just come over that night."

"um… but… if i'm not uglier than akamatsu-san, why did you say her…?"

"well…" iidabashi paused. "...wouldn't that be a bit strange of me to say to you off the bat? to tell you i'd take you somewhere usually couples go?"

"ah… well, it'd be kinda weird, but… good weird. like, i'd probably think it's a dream kind of weird." 

"oh. well…"

"ah…"

"does that mean you wanna be a couple… with me?" iidabashi asked hesitantly. 

saihara blushed, sitting up straighter. "ah! i- i mean…"

"... is that a yes?"

"ah… i - i guess…" saihara realized it all made sense now. of course that's what it was; he was crushing on his best [and only] friend. how pitiful of him… 

well… if it was even a crush. it felt more like head-over-heels puppy love that had been haunting him relentlessly for the past few months.

"if you don't wanna talk to me or if you want me to go home i-i get it, i'm… not really the ideal partner, i-"

"hey, shut up."

"hah?"

"i didn't finish. let me finish talking."

"okay…"

"...i kind of want that too. i've been thinking about it, and i think… you're the only person who i could be with without feeling pressure. you're kind of a weirdo too," iidabashi cringed a bit. "uh, sorry, but… it's true. and… whenever i'm around you, i feel lighter? happier. warmer inside. my circuits feel fuzzy."

saihara thought he was about to die and go straight to heaven. 

"well- w-well, i've felt that way about you too!"

"it's good to hear. i didn't want to ruin what we had."

"i didn't either…"

saihara summoned all of the courage in his frail body to put his hand on top of iidabashi's. iidabashi smiled faintly, glancing at the floor.

"so are we…?"

"y-yeah. if you want to."

"i do. i do want to."

saihara leaned into iidabashi, sinking into the feeling of pure bliss.

"o-on one condition."

"hm?"

"a-as long as you don't think akamatsu-san is really hotter than me…"


End file.
